chapter 9: how is life in New York?
I have everything and nothing to say about it
I am bad at keeping in touch with friends and family who live far away from me (sorry). But when I do finally nail down a phone call, FaceTime, or a ferocious 10 minutes of update texts, the question is always: how is life in New York?
Even over text, I get a kind of deer-in-headlights feeling. How is New York?? And suddenly I forget everything I’ve done, the people I’ve met, the subway rides I’ve taken, my wish that the Brooklyn Bridge wasn't always full of tourists. I forget that I live in a place other than my bedroom.
“Oh, it’s good,” I’ll say. “I’m having a lot of fun.” And then I’ll scramble to think of exciting things I’ve seen or done, usually to no avail. I feel like I’m supposed to be having an amazing time, because I’m in an amazing place.
In many ways, I am having an amazing time. But the thing about living in an amazing place is that I literally live here. I’m not doing crazy stuff every day. I’m doing laundry and watching TikToks and working. I’m commuting and shopping for groceries and reading books. I wrote about this in my last newsletter; how you can really live anywhere and you’ll still (hopefully) be the same person. I’m not a different girl just because I’m sitting in bed *in New York.*
The setting is different and there are new characters, but I didn’t change because I’ve moved. It’s something people don’t really talk about; how you’re still the same person when you move away from home. No matter where you go, you’re still the same you.
A change of pace makes it easier to grow and change, but nothing can change who you are at your core. Like, it’s very cool that there are so many things to do here. But my life is not going to dramatically change just because I go to new restaurants and bars and museums, you know?
And so recently, I released myself from this expectation that I must be having a crazy, exciting time. I pursue things and people and places that are interesting to me, but I won’t burden myself to have anything more than an experience. Not every day has to be so *exciting*.
And so when people ask me about New York, I’ll tell them the truth. That I joined a book club in my building and met a cool group of girls. That I love going to my pottery class, even if my glazing skills leave much to be desired. That I’ve been writing in bed even though my pipe dream is to be a mysterious girl writing in coffee shops - but at least I’m writing. I stopped cooking and, these days, only eat self-assembled grain bowls or toast or Cava. And I also stopped drinking coffee and maybe that’s why I don’t go to coffee shops? But that’s okay, because I still go out to do plenty of things (albeit without a shroud of mystery). And things are starting to feel really good.
So yeah, it’s pretty good. Life in New York is good.
10 things I liked this month
soft recommendations
You have to read “Diary of a Void” by Emi Yagi. A woman pretends to be pregnant to get out of menial tasks at her workplace - things unofficially assigned to her because she is the only woman on her team. She perpetuates the lie further and further, and she starts believing it herself.
This is my favorite book since reading “Convenience Store Woman.” It’s an incredible commentary on what it means to be a woman and mother, but under the guise of the most ridiculous premise. It’s funny, innovative, and relatable. 5 stars from me!Josh and I played The Past Within - this new co-op puzzle game that’s kind of like an escape room - and finished it in one night. We loved it so much, we immediately played Rusty Lake Paradise (a game from the same developer) and an entire suite of 9 sequential games. They remind me of the Nancy Drew computer game I played (and failed at) when I was little. But with really nice graphics and puzzles I can actually (kind of) solve. Highly recommend
Slowly learning to glaze…
a jar I made! with a fitting lid!! I read “The Wicked Deep” for my building’s book club and it is PHENOMENAL. 4 stars from me because there are some plot holes lol. 5 stars for the book club!
“Avatar and the Mystery of the Vanishing Blockbuster” was a super interesting read in The New York Times. It is really bizarre that Avatar had such an impact and then was never spoken about again. Anyways, I’m *very* excited for the sequel that comes out in December. Will post a full review - worry not!
I started a podcast for work and it’s actually been fun? It’s on Apple and Spotify if you’re curious, though I can’t say it’s very relevant if you’re not in digital marketing.
I made the logo myself in Canva. A graphic design queen! A lot of book recommendations to catch up on… “Pizza Girl” was another great read!! It follows a pregnant teen who becomes obsessed with a pizza customer. It’s intriguing, raw, funny, and so clever. 5 stars!
This article on Worldbuilding on how “worlds” are the new brands
Trying to do the NYT crossword… key word trying (can only finish on Mondays)
The lost art of finger sandwiches
supreme tea time
Until next time!
Madeleine