chapter 5: new things
I moved to New York! Which I announced, in true Madeleine fashion, by surreptitiously telling my family and then announcing it to the rest of the world on an Instagram post (bio change as well).
New things are scary. Even when you've wanted them for a while. Even when you've been dreaming of them for most of your life: since you visited New York with your mom freshman year of high school after your parents got divorced; since you spent 5 summer weeks in Chelsea when you were 17.
Life is scary. You can dream of moving somewhere, and spend your whole life's savings doing it (I'm not being dramatic, by the way. I'm just bad at saving), and still wonder if it was the right decision.
And I waffle. But as soon as I got here, I felt like it was the right decision. I felt great. I was going to the gym, a place I haven't been seen in years. I signed up for a pottery class and walked home across the Brooklyn Bridge each week at sunset. Every time I went outside, it felt like I was in a movie. Cars and people and endless streets.
And nothing was perfect. But most of the "problems" seemed manageable. I bought over-the-ear headphones to cancel out the overstimulating noises. My dusty apartment was (mostly) fixed by frequent use of my off-brand Roomba and the purchase of a Dyson air filter. Everything is crazy expensive, but I'm young and still contributing to my retirement accounts, so I can't complain. I stopped Ubering when I'm late (it takes too long and the upcharge is insane), so I'm learning the city by taking the subway and walking. Things seem good, and I'm optimistic about life here.
Escapism is so common now, when moving seems easier than ever and every moment is transient and fleeting. I wondered a hundred times why I was choosing to move here, for no real reason, and not anywhere else. Somewhere cheaper, somewhere in Europe, somewhere quieter and less stressful and less dirty.
The city is not for everyone. It's loud, and it's hard to feel human when you go through the motions here. But there are all these pockets of really beautiful things.
And so I feel good about moving. I feel good about the life I've already started building here: the people I'm meeting, the things I'm pursuing, the energy that pulses in the air around me. It's hard to make choices, and it's hard to do new things, but it's always worth it.
10 things I liked this week
soft recommendations
taking up a creative pursuit (thank you pottery)
upgrading my walking shoe game! I impulsively bought these sneakers by Adidas x Stella McCartney and these sneakers by New Balance x Staud. As always, a wholehearted endorsement for The RealReal because you can find the best stuff there for way cheap... I also returned a third pair of shoes to their IRL store, and it was so nice. I will definitely be back
buying Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 on Steam. Usually I play Stardew Valley as a chill wind-down game, but RTC3 is the game du jour lately
I don't like over-the-ear headphones but this pair has irreparably changed my quality of life
getting the Regal Unlimited pass! So far I've only seen Deer King (5 stars) and Nope (3.5 stars?), but I'm looking forward to Vengeance, Bullet Train, Where the Crawdads Sing, and Inu-Oh (another animated movie). It's only $23.50 a month which is CRAZY.
reading lots of books at once. I used to be a one book at a time girl, but unless I'm tearing through something, sometimes I just need a change of pace! Book recs forthcoming, I've read about 25 books so far this year and a lot of them were rec worthy
reading on the train!!
watching the penultimate episode of Better Call Saul... I tried to watch it in high school and did not like it, but it's really hitting the second time around
reconnecting with people I haven't seen in a while :')
I'm cooking again! Reflective of my good mood, I think. I feel like summer produce season is almost over, which devastates me, but I made vegan "creamed corn" and it was a revelation:
ingredients: garlic, olive oil, corn (fresh or frozen), salt, pepper, coconut milk
instructions: heat olive oil in a pan on medium heat, bloom pepper, add corn and add grated garlic over it, then add salt and coconut milk. let it simmer for a few minutes until the coconut milk has reduced. I don't know how to explain it but this is the easiest, best thing I've eaten in a while. Just trust me
Until next time,
Madeleine :)