chapter 28: uh oh, I'm falling into the new years resolution escapism trap again
new year but same me
“This year will be different.”
It’s a phrase I’m sure you’ve heard — in movies, in books, or coming from your own lips. The start of a new year is reassuring. A clean slate. Another shot at achieving your goals and dreaming big, regardless of your previous success in sticking to your plans. This is it! This is our year, and it will be different.
The new year is a promise that we swear to keep. The best part: plenty of altruistic businesses are ready to help us with our goals. If you want to be more organized, The Container Store is having their end of year sale. If you’re hoping to eat healthier, every single meal box somehow finds its way into your targeted ads on Instagram. And don’t forget all the videos showing us how to properly set up our planners (or Notion pages, for the technologically inclined) for a successful 2025!
Much like the promises of a new haircut, the pressure to transform your life come January 1st never lives up to expectations. Take it from me: year after year, I’ve set the same trap for myself, coming up with plans that are too far-flung from where I actually am.
All the build-up, just to be let down, can feel worse than never trying at all. We’re too lofty with our expectations, imagining every day that we’ll be at our peak performance. We forget to account for the realities of our lives: we’ll get sick, we’ll get busy, or our priorities will change.
So, how do we solve for this? How do we free ourselves from the escapism trap of our New Year’s resolutions?
This year, I’m not thinking about it too hard. If I want to write out a bunch of unrealistic goals, that’s my business. After all, a good resolution is not a promise; it’s a direction. And what a gift it is to know which way I want to go.
After all, isn’t what we really want just to have agency over our own lives? Isn’t that what we’re doing when we set these overambitious goals for ourselves: giving the most hopeful parts of us a shining beacon to head towards?
Even if we don’t reach our goals — or come close — the world offers us endless opportunities for change. Whether it’s the ball dropping at midnight, a new city, or a new haircut, there are so many ways to escape a static existence. We just have to take the first step.
So when I say to myself, “This year will be different,” I don’t mean it will be perfect. I’m letting myself dream while realizing that a year is not a finite thing. Life continues on as it always does. And this, 2025, is just the beginning.
XOXO,
Madeleine
A good resolution is not a promise, it’s a direction — love this!! This is how I try to approach my resolutions too. I also break my goals into more manageable month to month chunks so they don’t seem so out of reach!